Thursday, May 14, 2015

Thursday Thoughts....Carving Out Couple Time

Happy Thursday Girls.
Yay!
If there was one thing I could get more of it would be time!  There are some days when there is literally just not enough hours in the day to get everything done that needs to get done.  Some days are just so crazy busy that by 8:00 I am just done and find myself heading to bed as soon as I get the kids settled, and then there are days when I am pushing myself to get it all done and I am up until 2am.  It's a vicious cycle for sure.  Like most moms, I tend to focus most of my time and energy on my kids, and unfortunately my husband and my marriage gets kind of put on the back burner.  My husband is a super great guy, and he really doesn't ask for much, but the one thing that is super important to him is for us to make it a point to find time for "us".  I am very ashamed to admit it, but I have been seriously failing in this area lately.  I certainly don't take my husband or marriage for granted, but sometimes I get so caught up in the kids and everything else, I kind of push him to the side, thinking he of course knows I love him and want to spend time with him, but I am just busy doing other things.  When I actually write that it makes me feel just awful, I mean how can I be too busy for my husband?  Mark is so so good to me.  No matter what he always puts me first, he makes such a conscious effort to let me know every single day how important I am to him, and I am truly thankful for that! 
When we first met, we had lots of date nights, you know, that whole new and fresh relationship stage, well when you are in your mid 30's and have children, that doesn't last too long, and real life quickly settles in.  Probably the first two years we were together we had a date night once a week, usually just dinner, home by 9, but it was so nice to just get out and be away from the kids for just a little bit.  The past couple of years life has just gotten so crazy, the little kids are not so little anymore, and are involved in sports and activities that occupy so much of our free time.  Now don't get me wrong, we love how involved our kids are, and we love being there to support them, but it's a huge commitment of time, and it absolutely effects our entire family.  When we have a weekend free, we are usually so exhausted we both just prefer to stay home, and we are usually pretty content to be curled up on the couch and watch TV.  We have both decided though, that as much as we love hanging out at home in our sweats with the kids, once a month we need to go to dinner or something, just the two of us.  So my goal right now is to make that a priority, and make sure it does in fact happen. 
Mark and I probably go away twice a year, for the weekend, by ourselves.  I see that so many couples take little weekend getaways like once a month, but that right now doesn't fit into our lifestyle or budget.  So the couple of times that we are able to get away for a weekend without the kids, we truly treasure every single second of it. 
One of the most important things to Mark is that we go to bed every single night together, and that is something I am really trying make sure happens each night.  With 5 kids and a whole lot of craziness here from dinner time to bed time, it's hard sometimes for the two of us to even have a conversation some nights.  I find on the nights I make it a point to go up to bed with him everynight, we are able to just have simple, yet important conversations, talk about our day, make plans and set goals for the future, and this little mundane time is so so important in our marriage.
My mother always told me that your children of course should be a priority, but always make your husband and marriage your first priority.  When she first told me that, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard, I mean how could anything be more important than my children????  As I have gotten older, I see that she was right.  When I truly make the effort to make our marriage a priority, we are both happier, we are solid and strong, and that makes us better parents. 
Life is crazy hectic not only for me, but for every other mom out there, and it's so important to make a sincere effort to be sure to carve out time for just you and your husband.  I have learned over time, to not feel "guilty" about us going out or doing something without our kids.  As much as it is our jobs to nurture our children, spend time with them doing what they love, take care of them, etc...it is just as, if not more important to give that same attention to your marriage. 
Would love to hear what everyone else does to make time for just themselves and their husbands!


33 comments:

  1. I just finished a book that discussed this a lot!! When your kiddos go off to college or move out on their own, you don't want to done. If kids are your number one priority, what do you do then?! I completely agree! In order to be a good mom, I have to first be a great wife. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can you tell me what book it was girl? I would love to read it !

      Delete
    2. Ever After by Vicki Courtney :)

      Delete
  2. Overall a good post with very valid points about making your spouse and marriage a priority. Offering a bit of constructive criticism about the formatting - please make sentences shorter and/more succinct. Too many run on sentences. Sounds like you're rambling. And please add some white space/paragraph breaks for ease on the eyes to follow. I had problems reading one huge paragraph. thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I always appreciate constructive criticism !

      Delete
  3. I agree with the above poster. This formatting is very difficult to read--so much so that I skimmed the post. I would suggest more white space, maybe a bigger font, and a quick grammar check before posting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for taking the time to comment ;). I always appreciate constructive criticism ! Have a great day!

      Delete
  4. Wayne and I try to have a date night every other week, usually on a Saturday night. I like to stay out late enough so that the sitter can have Alise in bed before we get home. I also believe that the husband should come before the children, but I get that so wrong all the time. So much of my world revolves around her because Wayne doesn't get home until late in the evenings. I think every couple has to find what works best for them. Great post, Kimm!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I need to try and do a date night a month. We need it!!!

      Delete
  5. I loved this post! This is something we are constantly working on. my husband works every other weekend. So that only leaves 2 wknds a month. We try to plan a date night at least once a month. I strongly believe in the importance of setting aside time for each other. As a mom I struggle with wanting to always put them first, but the husband should always come first. Good for you about always going to bed together. WE do that too and i LOVE it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's so hard as a mom and not having that "guilt" about not always putting the kids first!!!

      Delete
  6. I am so curious as to why you are so obsessed with Friday? You seem to mention it in most of your posts. why not enjoy each day as a gift from God? Because really every day that we get to be on earth with those we love is a good day in my book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not necessarily obsessed and I am fully aware each day is a gift. However for me I love Fridays, because our week is done. We are so crazy running all over during the week with sports and activities, and homework and bedtimes, that I truly love when the weekend rolls around and I can just be with my family. Don't get me wrong I love our crazy hectic life, and it allows me to really appreciate our time together on the weekends! Have a great day

      Delete
    2. Yes, Yes, Yes! I agree with "Anonymous". I noticed that you (Kimm) are so ready to jump into the weekend, when it's a non-Friday/weekend day. I thought it would be more because you were working outside of the home, but now that you quit your job, I still see almost daily graphics about wishing for the end of the week. Embrace each day - they are blessings - we can't go back in time.

      Delete
    3. "Anonymous and anonymous" I love the weekends because my whole family is able to be together on the weekends. I don't wish the days away at all, I absolutely cherish each day, however I happen to look forward to Friday and weekend so I can be with my husband and kids. I hate that it bothers y'all so much!

      Delete
    4. Oh good grief! I am obsessed with Friday. I will just admit it. I realize it is wishing your week away, however, I look forward to time with my kids, church, shopping, etc, without having to worry about homework being done, making lunches, and getting up early for school/work. And guess what! I will even post my name....I'm Lauri from NC and I am obsessed with Friday. LOL!

      Delete
  7. Wow, I feel like you get a lot of critiquing here. I did disagree with your vaccine post, and I did leave a comment letting you know. That said, I feel like you are very open and honest here. I so appreciate your kind words to everyone and think you set a very good example of what it means to be kind and gracious. God bless you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Casey, i knew some people would disagree with my post on vaccines, and those were strictly just my opinions, and I appreciate you taking the time to comment, even if you felt differently than I did. I'm a firm believer in we can agree to disagree;). I always respect everyone's views and opinions, even if I don't feel the same way. I appreciate you taking the time to comment today. Thank you for the kind words. Have a great weekend

      Delete
  8. I've said this a million times but, for the record again, I love love love your blog!!! I think it's great to recognize the much needed couple time for you and hubs!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I see the new Emily Ley planners have launched, have you gotten a new one yet or do you plan on sticking with the EC?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure yet. My planner is good through the end of 2015, and I have seen some people talking about some great planners and much better price points so who knows

      Delete
  10. I also really look forward to the weekend, and hadn't even given it much thought that I'm wishing the other days away... I guess it's kind of like wishing a baby would start to talk, but not wanting to miss out on all the other stuff, too. Good post today, no fluff.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Couple time is important! Sometimes I stink at it far too often. Something I did for my husband for Christmas was plan a date a month for the year and made cards with each one and put them on the calendar, we are not 100 percent perfect due to so much going on around us but it's been fun. Not all the dates cost money but it's time together!
    Thanks you for being kind with your words to others.
    And share if you have some good planners at better price points. I got an EC this year that I really use but I'd like a different style next year. I won't get the simplified one because the paper is thin this year and I must be able to use my erasable Frixxion pens because sometimes plans change! I'm thinking about the Day Designer but I don't know too many planners out there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christi that's such a great idea about the little cards for date night! I have the simplified planner and thank you so much for telling me that he pages are thin this year...I definitely like a thicker page! If I find any great ones at a good price point I'll be sure to let you know! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment ! Have a great weekend

      Delete
  12. No post Friday or today - everything ok?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Our modem isn't working and they can't come out until Tuesday afternoon for service call/replace it. IHate doing posts from my phone. So I have skipped a few days! I'll be back Wednesday! Thanks for checking in ;)

      Delete
    2. Ah ok! No problem! Have a good day! :)

      Delete
  13. Good advice, spot on.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Missing your blog this morning! Just wanted to let you know I always enjoy reading it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Elizabeth! Our internet modem isn't working and they are coming today to either fix or replace it! I'll be back this week! Have a great day.

      Delete
  15. Definitely something we try to do...I don't want to wake up one day and have no kids to keep us occupied and realize we don't really know each other anymore.

    ReplyDelete