Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Workin' It Wednesday...Keeping Your Marriage Strong

Hello Ladies!

Hope you are all having a GREAT week!

Today I am linking up with Shay and Erika for "Workin' It Wednesday"...and today we are talking about how we keep our marriages strong!

Be sure you guys link up too!

...and below you can find what topics are coming up...

Being married is simply the best...but being married is not always is HARD, and having a good, strong marriage takes a lot of hard work, but like anything else, the more you put into it the more you get out of it!

I wake up each day feeling so extremely grateful....when I got divorced I never imagined I would find a man who would be so accepting of not only me, but my 5 kids.  I have said this before many times, Mark seriously never even blinked about the fact that I had 5 kids, it didn't scare him off, he just walked right into our lives and embraced the crazy...he is such a good man, and we are so lucky that he is ours.  

Everyone has what works for them and their marriage, and I know all too well that just because something works for someone else, it won't necessarily work for you, today I am just sharing what works for us, and helps to keep our marriage good for us.

Since this is a second marriage for both Mark and I, we didn't get all that quality alone time like most couples do before they have kids...when Mark and I met, the kids were already here, so finding time for just the two of us was tough.  I was pretty involved with my kids, and my life pretty much revolved around them.  I was a class mom, volunteered for any and everything, and everywhere I went, the kids came with me.  Since I had become a mother, my kids always came first, every other thing was second, even my marriage....and Mark was just not OK with that.  I spent my days taking care of kids, volunteering at school, dropping off and picking up kids.  At night, after dinner I would do homework with the kids, watch tv with the kids, put the kids to bed, and then put myself to bed....time that I could devote to just my husband was non-esixtent, I devoted every waking hour to my kids, and by the time they went to bed, I myself was ready to crash, or I would just enjoy the "me time".  My system and way of doing things did NOT work at all for Mark.  

I clearly remember that "ah ha" moment in our relationship when I realized just what was going to make our marriage strong and work!  Mark and I had decided to go away to for 5 days, without the kids....mind you I was married for 15 years before this, and never ONCE went away without my kids, seriously never once, so this was all very foreign to me:). We had Kenny come and stay with the kids, so I was comfortable they were in good hands, but I was so nervous and just so sad to be leaving them...tears were flowing for sure!  Mark was so excited for us to have this time alone together, and I spent the first two days attached to my phone, texting and calling every 5 minutes, checking in on the kids, talking to the kids, and I would burst out into tears, and was just sad.  Mark...was not sympathetic...he was PISSED!  He was angry, and was definitely a little "tough" with me, but he made me realize that no way in hell should I be feeling guilty or bad about leaving the kids for a few days and focusing just on us.  For so long I had always put being a mom first, not being a wife.  I realized that time away from the kids was not only good for my relationship with my husband, but it was also good for them.  

Ever since that little trip, Mark and I make it a point to carve out time for just us, and that truly keeps us connected and our marriage strong.  We usually try and take a handful of long weekend getaways each year, and we truly treasure that time we have together.  We don't get near as many date nights as we would like, but that is just the season of our life now with kids who are involved in activities and have blooming social lives and need to be dropped off and picked up on Friday and Saturday nights.  For me, I always loved my time at night, when everyone was asleep and I would just sit and enjoy the peace and quiet, or sometimes I would finish up on laundry or housework that didn't get done during the day, and next thing I knew it was after midnight and I was rolling into bed...that was Mark's biggest pet peeve.  A successful marriage is all about compromise and sacrifice, and knowing how important it was to Mark that we went to bed together every single night, I made it a point each night to just stop at 9...we spend every night for an hour on the couch watching a show and we always go to bed together at 10. Sure there are some nights, where I could be getting something done,  catching up on something, or just enjoying some quiet time, but the truth is it will all be there for me to do in the morning, and knowing how important it is to my husband that we go to bed together makes it important to me.  

Mark has always made it a point and priority to make me feel special and loved every single day, he is busy during the day at work, but he always finds the time to send a sweet text or a quick phone call to just say "I love you", it is those little things that remind me that even in this crazy life, he always finds the time to make me and our marriage his first priority.  I think that many of us take it all for granted, and I simply don't.  I am so thankful for our marriage and the strong relationship that we have, and it truly is the little things that mean the most, being sure every single day, no matter what, your partner knows they are loved, appreciated and a priority.  

We truly enjoy the stage of life we are in now, raising kids, but we know that we must keep our marriage a priority, because one day all too soon, our kids will be grown and gone, and it will just be the two of us.  Mark and I put each other first, we put each other above our children, our families, everything...and I know to some that may sound crazy or selfish or whatever, but we put our marriage first, and by doing that, by being a strong couple, we are just better at everything else we do.  

So for us....our marriage stays strong by simply putting it first....ALWAYS.  

Thanks so much for stopping by today!  Have a great Wednesday!



  1. I love this Kimm! You're right, we put our kids FIRST for so long that we forget how to be a wife. Love your tips, thanks for sharing!

    1. to me, being a wife is the most important. Have a great weekend

  2. I love these tips! Your kids are definitely happier when they are in a home with a strong marriage. I'm so happy that you're so happy :)

  3. Love how much you love that hubs of yours!

  4. I agree that marriage is the best! I would not want to be single these days!

  5. Well my recent college grad moved out this week and has her first grown up apartment! Its awesome and as much as I enjoyed her company since she moved back home from college, I am SO HAPPY to be just the 2 of us again! So yes to keeping it strong while raising kids because they do move out and then its just you 2 and if you don't have anything in common but those kids? Whoa. Scary roads ahead!

  6. Spending time together..sans kids is so important and I can totally tell when Keith and I have gone way too long.