Thursday, July 23, 2015

Thursday Thoughts...Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover

Happy Thursday Ladies!  I am pretty excited for this week to end...because on Saturday my kiddos are coming back home! 


We are all guilty of it at one time or another...you know looking at someone and making a judgement without even knowing them.  I know in the past I have surely done that, though in recent years I have really tried to no longer do that.  I know that it is so easy to look at someone, and base judgement solely on their appearance, and well it is just wrong, and honestly none of us should do it.  Lately with all that is going on in this crazy world we live in, I have found myself preaching acceptance, and how important it is.  I am CONSTANTLY telling my children how important it is to be kind, compassionate, accepting and to never judge anyone because maybe they look "different" , it's an important lesson that everyone needs to learn.  The world has become so mean lately, I find myself coming into contact with more mean people than nice people, it really makes me angry!  It is just as easy to be nice, and if you can't find it in you to be nice and if you have nothing positive or kind to say to someone, then just keep your mouth shut!!
For the most part I am usually "tough", I have learned over the years that I can't take so many things to heart, and for the most part people's opinions of me, what I do, my family, anything really...well they just don't matter.  The only opinions that I concern myself with are those of the ones that are living within the same 4 walls as me.  I can close my eyes, and sleep well at night knowing I am doing right by my husband and my kids, and well that is all that matters! 
Last week I was in Nordstrom, and while I was waiting to pay there were two older women behind me, and we started chatting, they seemed sweet.  One of the woman said to me, and I quote "you're such a pretty lady, it is a shame you have all those tattoos all over yourself, when you're old and your skin is all wrinkly you'll probably be sorry you got them".....my first thought, I wanted to nicely tell this woman to shut the f*%k up, but I got hold of myself and put a smile on my face, laughed a bit and said, that I happen to love them, and I am sure that even when I am old and wrinkly I will still love them!  She proceeded to say how she thinks it is so silly that young people and go out and get tattoos while they are young and most wind up regretting them later in life, and how she thinks it is just disgusting when she sees mothers pushing around their babies, with tattoos all over them.  I was biting my tongue the entire time, I mean I seriously wanted to tell this lady off, but in a very nice way, told her that actually I did get my first tattoo when I was younger, 25, but the other two I had just recently got within the past 3 years.  She simply said "oh", and that was the end of the conversation.  I can't say it really bothered me, I mean these two old women and their opinion of me means absolutely nothing.  I really didn't give it a second thought, and went about the rest of my day, shopping and enjoying my day. 
Later that night as I was sitting on the couch I did start thinking about that conversation with those two women, and it wasn't that I even gave a shit what they thought of me or the 3 tattoos that I have, but how incredibly rude it was of them to even say anything to me at all.  I am all for freedom of speech, and always respect everyone's opinions and all that other BS, but being rude or unkind in anyway is just something I will never ever respect or be OK with.  People now a days truly think it is OK to say what they want, when they want, and too many people just don't taste their words before they spit them out.  It really got me to thinking, are there really people out there who would look at a mother with a few tattoos and just assume she wasn't a good mother?  I mean WTF!!! 
We all need to just stop judging people, who are any of us to judge someone solely on their appearance, without getting to know them.  I am such a firm believer in that if YOU are comfortable with who are you, than that is all that should matter.  Like I said earlier, I myself have definitely been guilty of jumping to judgement on a person based on their appearance, but I can assure you I no longer do that.  I hear people talk crap all the time, talking about someone and how they dress...ummm...hello.....just because wearing nice clothes is important to you, it may not be important to the girl next to you, and seriously there is nothing wrong with that. 
I absolutely love this quote...it is so true.  What's on the outside really doesn't matter, it is truly what is on the inside that does!
Thanks for stopping by today...be sure to check back tomorrow for Friday Favorites!



27 comments:

  1. Amen, sister! I mean seriously, it takes such energy to be mean and judge other people. I'd rather save my energy on positive things and things that make me HAPPY! :)

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  2. I absolutely loved this post, Kimm!! Seriously this has been on my heart lately SO much, & I struggle so often with what people think, & I just need to truly not care & let it go!! I loved how how you said th only people that mater are within our own walls. God knows our heart & everyone else's...it is so pointless to let negativity warp our lives. I am all about being on the happy train & not judging as well. If only everyone else could do the same!

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    1. Thank you so much my sweet friend! It makes my heart happy knowing there are still some wonderful good people out there ! Xoxo

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  3. Great post! Also, great job on holding your tongue. One time In recent years, I told someone to "f*#% off" while we were both in line at a redbox outside of a pharmacy. Not my proudest moment, but some people really have no boundaries (and need to be put in their place). Loves this topic! Have a great day! :)

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    1. Girl I have had my fair share of those moments for sure...but lately I am really trying hard to "practice what I preach ". I agree with people having no boundaries. It has quickly gone from people voicing their opinion to just being down right rude and disrespectful. Have a great day girl !!!

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  4. Great post today, Kimm!!! I sometimes have a hard time with mean people and one of my favorite things to say is "Mean people suck"...I have had a super hard time in the last couple of years with people on Facebook. I truly don't get it. I am always so happy for others, yet if I post anything about my life, I get a lot of side eye and snarky remarks. What?!? I don't get why people just can not be happy for others. My husband hates facebook for the reason and I take everything to heart. Its who I am. I try to not let it bother me, but it is not fun to have people judge me. They didn't know my life 20 years ago. Life is too short to be mean! Have a wonderful day!

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    1. Thanks girl ! I'm really starting to hate social media, it's become a ground for spewing hate and mean and nasty comments. My husband hates that I am on social media. And there are days, many lately that I just think about shutting it all down. I mean it just sucks the life right out of you hearing people, especially women being so mean!!!!

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    2. Hi Kimm-I appreciate your candor. I'm curious-if your husband hates that you are on social media, would you consider stopping, or at least removing his presence on your site?

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    3. Hey Liz! My husband doesn't really care one way or the other, if it bothered him I would absolutely delete all my social media accounts, nothing is more important than my family. And if my husband ever said to me please don't put me on your blog, Instagram or Facebook I would absolutely respect that. You don't see much of my older kids on my blog and social media because they asked me to limit their "appearances" and I totally respect that Thanks for taking the time to read and comment

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    4. I wanted to clarify, my husband doesn't hate that I am on Social Media, he hates when I complain or show him so much of the ugly that I see....we both just kind of scratch our heads and wonder why it is that people are walking around filled with so much hate

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    5. You are so right- it does suck the life right tout of you! I have said many times I am going to delete my facebook and then I realize I would miss so many posts of friends and family who live far from me. Its almost like a catch 22. Seems like today's post hit home with many people!

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    6. I have been considering getting off social media myself. I love connecting with awesome people and seeing their families and getting to know people, but the amount of ugly and hate lately ruins it all. Have a great weekend my friend

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  5. Well to be perfectly honest I am not a fan of tattoos, I do not have any, however it was unconciously rude for that lady to think it was even close to appropriate to make that comment and I can't imagine making the assumption that a tattoo equates to being a bad mother. I don't know if I could have remained polite so congrats on the self control.
    Lisa G. McKinney, TX

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    1. Hi Lisa! I know tattoos aren't for everyone and there is of course nothing wrong with that. I don't even mind when people nicely say it's just not for them, but to sit there and tell me I'll be sorry when I am older was just out of line in my opinion. I have 3 VERY small tattoos...I'm hardly covered in them, not that there is anything wrong with that either. To each his own. And girl it was tough not to tell this lady off. Lol. Thanks for taking the time to comment today

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  6. I support your sentiments but find it sort of hard to take your post seriously because of your foul language. I just think that people would respect your position more if you used more ladylike language.

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    1. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. As for my foul language, if it offends anyone I am very sorry, however I would be lying if I said when I get angry or mad I don't curse. Im not ashamed or embarrassed because of it at all. I am human, I am a lady and I am most certainly NOT perfect, and that's ok for me. I do appreciate your views and appreciate you taking the time to comment. My whole issue here is acceptance and not judging, yes I curse and definitely drop the f bomb more often than not, however it doesn't make me any less of a lady because of it !

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    2. Oh goodness, I did not mean to imply that you aren't a lady. Just think that your language detracted from the point you were making. :) But just my opinion! :)

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  7. Hi Kimm! I'm a pretty new reader to your blog and really enjoy it. I agree about the internet being an easy place to spread hate and intolerance. How do you feel about popular bloggers that are intolerant of other cultures and lifestyles? I'm surprised by the Mix and Match Mama's conservative blog posts that have come to light recently. Any thoughts on that? I look forward to an open and respectful discussion!

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    1. Thank you for reading. I'm so grateful to anyone who takes time out of heir busy life to read what I write. I've gotten quite a few comments lately about this conservative blog, and I'm thinking I have never read it...I read her blog everyday and enjoy it. Am I reading something different? Is there another one? This is my opinion, and solely just my opinion...I respect absolutely every one and their opinions, we all need to learn how to agree to disagree...I stand very firm in my values , beliefs and morals, and I have gotten a lot of hate and heat for giving my opinions. With me, I believe what I believe, I love my life for me and my family and do what works for us, and that isn't always going to be what is right for another and i fully respect that. It os not for me to jam my beliefs down anyone's throat, I am certainly not perfect enough to sit back and judge anyone. Here is my philosophy, and something I preach to my children daily....acceptance is so important, being kind is so important, I am all for freedom of speech and sharing your thoughts and opinions. My issue is when people judge and spew hate when you don't believe what they believe. People cross the line way too much. People think freedom of speech is basically giving the green light to be rude, hurtful and spew hate. I am a happily married woman married to a man, that's is what makes ME HAPPY, that being said I have no issue with a man or woman marrying someone of the same sex, raising children together, it has no bearing or effect on my life, so who am I to sit back and judge them for living their in a way that makes them happy! I am sure this won't sit well with some readers and that is ok.

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    2. I completely agree with you. There is really no reason to shove our beliefs down the throats of others. There is another blog, although I don't think it's active any longer, The Conservative Mommy. You can still find several posts cached if you google "Shay Shull Conservative Mommy blog." I have always liked Shay's blog and was quite surprised to read some of the things she's written. I appreciate your willingness to have an open and honest discussion.

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    3. Like I said, to each his own, I respect everyone's feelings and beliefs. I am always willing for a great discussion and always love hearing others views and opinions. Thank you so much

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  8. I appreciate you putting your real self out there and not trying to be a people pleaser. I agree with you that we are all different and should try to accept one another's differences as long as they aren't hurting anyone. I am honestly a big wimp and the thought of a tattoo terrifies me, so I'm always impressed when people have them!! lol! That being said, maybe one day I'll muster up the courage to get one! ;)

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    1. Hi Jen. I am real, I am not going to pretend to be something I am not...not ever, as for pleasing people, well it's not super important to me. I mean yes I want people to like me, but I am who I am, and I won't ever to change so you either like me the way I am or you don't ! I hate pain but the tattoos weren't that bad. However I have 3 and hey are all very small. So it was like a 5 minute thing. Lol. So I'm kind of a wimp too

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  9. Totally agree with you on the social media thing. My hubby and I both deleted out FB accounts on New Year's Eve and I'm not going to lie, I mourned mine for way longer than I should have. lol However, I don't miss it at all now. It actually has helped us to see who our true friends are rather than our "fb friends." The negativity and drama that comes with social media isn't worth it. I do have and Instagram acct still and I am very selective with whom I follow and whom I allow to follow me.
    Also, way to bite your tongue in Nordstrom!! I wouldn't have been able to with the comment about mother's and tats. I personally have 3 and do regret them but I wouldn't call anyone else out on theirs. Psh...some people! Didn't their momma's teach them that if they didn't have anything nice to say to not say anything at all? :)

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    1. Hey Kelli! I'm considering heavily deleting Facebook. I feel like there is way more hate on there than Instagram! So sad isn't it!!! And seriously if you don't have anything nice to say please just say nothing at all !! Have a great day girl !

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