Thursday Thoughts....Carving Out Couple Time

Happy Thursday Girls.

Yay!

If there was one thing I could get more of it would be time!  There are some days when there is literally just not enough hours in the day to get everything done that needs to get done.  Some days are just so crazy busy that by 8:00 I am just done and find myself heading to bed as soon as I get the kids settled, and then there are days when I am pushing myself to get it all done and I am up until 2am.  It's a vicious cycle for sure.  Like most moms, I tend to focus most of my time and energy on my kids, and unfortunately my husband and my marriage gets kind of put on the back burner.  My husband is a super great guy, and he really doesn't ask for much, but the one thing that is super important to him is for us to make it a point to find time for "us".  I am very ashamed to admit it, but I have been seriously failing in this area lately.  I certainly don't take my husband or marriage for granted, but sometimes I get so caught up in the kids and everything else, I kind of push him to the side, thinking he of course knows I love him and want to spend time with him, but I am just busy doing other things.  When I actually write that it makes me feel just awful, I mean how can I be too busy for my husband?  Mark is so so good to me.  No matter what he always puts me first, he makes such a conscious effort to let me know every single day how important I am to him, and I am truly thankful for that! 

When we first met, we had lots of date nights, you know, that whole new and fresh relationship stage, well when you are in your mid 30's and have children, that doesn't last too long, and real life quickly settles in.  Probably the first two years we were together we had a date night once a week, usually just dinner, home by 9, but it was so nice to just get out and be away from the kids for just a little bit.  The past couple of years life has just gotten so crazy, the little kids are not so little anymore, and are involved in sports and activities that occupy so much of our free time.  Now don't get me wrong, we love how involved our kids are, and we love being there to support them, but it's a huge commitment of time, and it absolutely effects our entire family.  When we have a weekend free, we are usually so exhausted we both just prefer to stay home, and we are usually pretty content to be curled up on the couch and watch TV.  We have both decided though, that as much as we love hanging out at home in our sweats with the kids, once a month we need to go to dinner or something, just the two of us.  So my goal right now is to make that a priority, and make sure it does in fact happen. 

Mark and I probably go away twice a year, for the weekend, by ourselves.  I see that so many couples take little weekend getaways like once a month, but that right now doesn't fit into our lifestyle or budget.  So the couple of times that we are able to get away for a weekend without the kids, we truly treasure every single second of it. 

One of the most important things to Mark is that we go to bed every single night together, and that is something I am really trying make sure happens each night.  With 5 kids and a whole lot of craziness here from dinner time to bed time, it's hard sometimes for the two of us to even have a conversation some nights.  I find on the nights I make it a point to go up to bed with him everynight, we are able to just have simple, yet important conversations, talk about our day, make plans and set goals for the future, and this little mundane time is so so important in our marriage.

My mother always told me that your children of course should be a priority, but always make your husband and marriage your first priority.  When she first told me that, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard, I mean how could anything be more important than my children????  As I have gotten older, I see that she was right.  When I truly make the effort to make our marriage a priority, we are both happier, we are solid and strong, and that makes us better parents. 

Life is crazy hectic not only for me, but for every other mom out there, and it's so important to make a sincere effort to be sure to carve out time for just you and your husband.  I have learned over time, to not feel "guilty" about us going out or doing something without our kids.  As much as it is our jobs to nurture our children, spend time with them doing what they love, take care of them, etc...it is just as, if not more important to give that same attention to your marriage. 

Would love to hear what everyone else does to make time for just themselves and their husbands!