Happy Wednesday Girls!
I had a post all planned for today, but have decided to keep it for another day. Yesterday I put out a post that was just about real life, I totally expected to get some slack, but I was truly blown away with some of the feedback I got. I totally understand that I put a lot of our life out there, and I certainly don't expect everyone to live their lives the way I live mine. I don't paint a perfect picture of a perfect life, well because that is just not my life. I read lots of blogs, and many of these women are seriously super woman in my book. They never appear to have a bad day, they are dressed perfectly at all times, their kids are always happy and smiling, their houses are picture perfect at all times, and as much as I love reading those posts, at times it is hard for me to relate, because well, no matter how hard I try my life just isn't that damn perfect.
I had a bad day Monday, we slept in and skipped school...and seriously I don't think my kids will suffer any life long effects from it! I shared about real life, because that is what this blog is for me, real life. From that one little post, I was told I have severe depression, my family sleeps too much, I have a drinking problem and clearly my daughter has been exposed first hand to drinking and driving. I am all for constructive criticism, I really am, and most times I feel like I handle it in a good way, and always try to be respectful when I am responding.
My kids got a day off from school, we stayed home in our pajamas all day, hung out and watched TV...was it the best decision, probably not, but good Lord I certainly don't think it warranted the rash of hate that was received.
It is as if now a days you are damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you only show a perfect, well put together life, people give you crap about it, when you post about real life, even the dark days, you get crap about it too. As always I am so appreciative of those of you who left kind comments, and even for those of you who expressed your opinions in a nice manner. I never thought much about posting what I did because I just assumed most normal, every day moms could somehow relate to just having an off day, and that is really all it was, just an off day. Tuesday was back to business as usual over here.
Mark and I work hard to balance our marriage and our family life, and it's not always easy. We are fortunate that we have been able to have kid free getaways, and many date nights alone throughout our time together. We are definitely better parents when we take time for us. I post a lot on social media of my kids, well my 3 little ones, and I am sure most would agree they seem like pretty happy, well cared for children.
I have said it before and I will say it again, this world and the people in it, get uglier each day. People really get a rush slamming other people, and that is so sad. I hope that everyone will really stop and think before they decide to tear into someone. Yes those of us who blog, do open ourselves up, but so often lately the line just gets crossed. It takes just as much effort to be nice as it does to be mean. It takes more effort to write something mean and hurtful then it does to write nothing at all.
For those of you who left me words of encouragement, thank you...it was just what I needed to read after having a crappy day! I am truly so thankful for each of you and I love being able to share our crazy, non perfect life with you all!
See you guys back here tomorrow!
I'm truly blown away that people took your post yesterday in the wrong direction. I'm not a mother but I can still appreciate how challenging, raw, and emotional motherhood can be. I think it's so crucial that women lift each other up rather than tear each other down. As women, we already face so much more scrutiny and stereotypes and we need each other!! I'm so sorry, Kimm and remember...you're a great mother and these people would most likely never say anything to your face! xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks Lauren !!! Can't wait for Sunday to watch the panthers!!!
DeleteWell said!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Have a great day!
DeleteKimm,
ReplyDeleteI am truly so sorry by the hate comments you received in yesterday's post. It's not our place to judge one another, and we must extend grace to others if we expect Christ to extend grace to us. You know the in and outs of your life, and where you stand. I am genuinely praying for you. My heart hurts for you receiving such negativity!
All the Best,
Whitney
Thanks Whitney I have pretty thick skin, and a the end of the day I know that though I am not perfect, each day I be the best me I can be. That's all I can do !
DeleteThat's all we ALL can do! Glad to see your still in good spirits. All of the best to you and your family!
DeleteIt's amazing how mean people can be. They should stop criticizing others and ask how their rude behavior towards others impacts their own life.
ReplyDeleteI seriously wish I had the kind of time some women do to just sit around and cut to shreds someone else. Have a great day!
DeleteThere's the problem. You have all the time in the world to do anything you choose. You, admittedly, choose to spend your time sleeping half the day.
DeleteIf you would like to think I sleep half the day, go right ahead and think that. Again I'm certainly not going to apologize for sleeping in on the weekends at all.
DeleteNo one said you should apologize. You've blogged about sleeping in until 11am on multiple occasions. Is that not sleeping half the day away? You could spend that time doing something else but you don't. Your choice. But don't say you wish you had time to do something. Lots of women would love to have the free time you have!
DeleteI was being a bit sarcastic in that comment, I just hate how mean people are. I appreciate you taking the time to comment, and no matter what people are going to have their opinions and thoughts on how I live my life. Even if we decide to sleep in on the weekends we still get done what we need to. A few times I have done a day in the life post, but it's not all that exciting. I do probably the same thing that most moms do...I just happened to share one of my bad days this week. Hope you have a great night !
DeleteOh for heaven's sake. Kimm you don't have to explain a thing. I don't have kids yet so not quite the same scenario, but I also sleep in almost every weekend. I am a night owl and stay up too late during the week (and I know I do it to myself) so by Saturday I am just done and ready for some rest. You are not alone in that!
DeleteWell said Kimm! I am so angry about some of the comments left yesterday - it was downright bullying. And I don't use that term lightly. And these women are modeling behavior for their kids? Good lord, we're in trouble! No wonder women aren't further ahead then we are in the world. We're our own worst enemy!
ReplyDeleteAnd it's said all the time but it's so true... People who put down others do it because they are insecure and jealous. I remind my 8-yr-old daughter of this several times a week because there are a couple girls who are so mean to her at school.
Anyway, have a wonderful day, and hit delete on any mean comments that come in today!!!
Thank you so much. Have a great day!
DeleteI would much rather read a blog post that's honest and relatable over one that paints a rosy picture. Motherhood has become way too competitive and women go to great lengths these days to always look like they've got everything figured out. Hey, you've got FIVE kids and the older ones seem to be happy and well-adjusted. I'm sure the other three are going to turn out just fine as well. :) People have bad days. End of story. But, if it's something that persists, look into some bio-identical hormone therapy. At our age, things start to change!! Any of Suzanne Somers books would be good to read or Christie Brinkley's new book looks great too! Diet is everything! Maybe look into Whole 30 or Paleo? I take several good supplements like fish oil, probiotics, vitamin D3, etc. They are super helpful. Anyway, I hope you have a great day!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for taking the time to comment today. I'm not perfect and don't want to ever portray our life is. When I went through my divorce I saw a counselor, so I have no shame in asking for help if I ever think I need it! Have a great day!
DeleteGood Morning Kimm!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to let you know you were on my mind a lot yesterday, and it was NOT because I was thinking what a terrible mother you are :)
Yesterdays post had me a little misty eyed. First of all let me say I can totally relate to your feelings with the move. When I first got married, I moved away from home and it was only three hours away. I could hardly take it, it consumed my days for several years. I know that sounds crazy, but I just really really missed home and my family. I did eventually find a way to cope- thank goodness!
Secondly, it seems like every January and into most of February I'm blue. Gah, I hate even typing that out! A few years ago I was telling a friend how I plan my days around my naps- I mostly didn't want to do anything because all I wanted to do was take my kids to school and come home and sleep, pick them up from school and take a nap before it was time to start dinner. I really didn't think anything of it, until my friend had listened to my schedule in disbelief and told me I sound depressed. It took her saying that for me to realize I needed to change some things! I can pull myself out of the shlump by doing various things- walking, cleaning, buying some plants or flowers for inside, listening to music etc... but it really takes some effort. There is nothing like the feeling when the weather warms up and the sun shines everyday- I love that energy! Anyways, I say all that to say I can empathize with your post yesterday :)
I try hard to look at the bright side of things- I couldn't believe how many comments you had yesterday! Did you know that you had that many readers or that that many people care enough about what you write to leave a comment? Way to go Kimm! :)
We all do things differently, I'm sure there are things in my life that you would roll your eyes at! But that is what makes reading blogs so much fun- seeing and reading how other people are living their life. It's funny how everybody thinks their way is the only way!
I'm happy to hear that y'all were back to normal yesterday :)
I think there is s real holiday letdown that people experience. I know I do to an extent.
DeleteEveryone needs to remember "to each his own"! I'm far from perfect but I have managed to raise two well rounded good adult children, my 3 little ones are being raised in a home filled with love, we do what worlds for our family. Some days are just worse than others !
DeleteI'm a frequent reader of your blog, but I missed yesterday's post. After reading today's, I found myself going back to read yesterday's and the comments that followed. First let me say that I think it was great that you wrote about what a bad day you were having. I think it was refreshing honest to read about a Mom who doesn't have it all together everyday. I read several bogs that always seem to come across as women with perfect homes, kid's personal appearances, etc.... I only recently read two blogs where the writers admitted they don't always get everything done. One blogger had the courage to show a picture of her messy kitchen and the other admitted she actually has her house cleaned twice a month. I think we perceive that a lot of bloggers have these seemingly perfect lives because we rarely get to read a post about a not so great day or things that aren't so good about their lives.
ReplyDeleteI found the majority of the comments to be hurtful, inappropriate and cruel. I think people can offer their opinion or constructive criticism without being so mean! I would advise you to ignore the obviously ridiculous suggestions that you are a bad mother, alcoholic, lazy, depressed woman. Instead, take some suggestions from the comments from people who are kind enough to offer helpful suggestions. While I do not think you are ANY of the above mentioned, I do sense you are struggling with your new move and perhaps that is challenging your happiness right now. I too moved away from my extended family and numerous friends several years ago. It was very lonely at first as it was over 3000 miles away. It helped me to get involved in some part time work, volunteering at my son's school and eventually joining a few local organizations. I would encourage you to "get out the house" with the above mentioned during the day while your kids at school. I don't make a lot of money with my job, but, it helps out a little with the bills and also gets me out of the house two days a week.
I have no issues with sleeping through an alarm, staying in pajamas all day or having a glass of wine or two everyday. I don't know why such a big deal was made about looking forward to going out, a weekend away from the kids, going out for drinks. We can all admit that being a Mom is hard work and looking forward to a break every now and again is something we all do!
My only issue was that you realized the kids were late for school and you
Sorry that posted before I finished.... I think it was a poor choice to not take the kids to school even if it meant they would only miss a couple hours that day. My issue is that everyone makes a mistake or misses something but getting your kids to school after over sleeping shows them commitment to going even if they're a little late. It's not the fact that they missed school that day that's a big deal. It's the fact that you might of set a precedent that when you are late you can just not show up at all. I'm sure you regret that part now and if you haven't done so, I encourage you to talk your kids about how not taking them school was a mistake. Like I said, that's just my opinion. I hope the rest of your week goes better and that you can take something away from all the positive comments and genuine constructive criticism!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment !! Looking back yes I should have taken the kids into school late, but I didn't, and I truly don't think they are going to suffer from this. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. Have a great day!
DeleteI've been reading you for awhile Kimm and while I don't always agree with what you do and say, that doesn't matter, it's your life and your children. But please don't think that these women who blog are super women with their perfect lives,homes,and children. They aren't showing everything. Many of them have help in the home that you don't see. Believe me, I know this first hand. Just concentrate on being you, and your family. Other women may have their nlogs looking like they have it all but more often than not they aren't showing us the hard side, the real side of their lives. Their blogs are their business, not their life.
ReplyDeletePlease don't let that get to you. Florida could be a great thing for your family, don't miss out on creating a great life for your family.
I tend to show the good and bad of our life, I hate that it offends so many people, that's not my intention. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. Have a great day!
DeleteHi Kimm, while I did notice there were some negative comments yesterday, I feel like most came from a place of concern, which isn't a bad thing. I have had mornings like you described in yesterday's post, but I was depressed and got help. There's nothing wrong with depression (other than it sucks to have it), no one will think less of you for needing help, in fact that is as real as you can be! I think you are a good mom, but remember to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your loved ones.
ReplyDeleteThose blogs you mention that have it all together are only snippets of their lives. They are curated pictures and moments that only show what they want their readers to see. Don't trust their "perfection".. Some of these type blogs are actually just businesses disguised to look as a friendly mommy blog only to make money off their readers. Some of these women have nannies, house cleaners, seemingly unlimited funds (probably from making money off their readers) etc. Don't compare yourself, just be the best you that you can be.
Thanks so much! I am me, and that's the only person I want to be. I don't have nannies or housekeepers, I've got 5 kids and a husband. Our life is happy and full of love, and that's all that matters to me. I had a bad day, but life goes on! Have a great day !
DeleteHi Kimm... Wow that was a wild one yesterday with your post and comments! I admit that I would not have done what you did - let the kids stay home. That's my opinion. I did notice, though, that one point was not made in the comments. Your children's absence (albeit only one day) affects the school district and their funding/budget. School districts get their money based on attendance (amongst other factors)... certain amount of money per student that attend school each day. Districts that have a lot of truancy/absenteeism don't get the money needed for books, supplies, etc. I know it was just one day, but if several families did this, or just one student does this chronically, you know how that can add up. Check the amounts online - the amounts can be staggering.
ReplyDeleteLooking back yes I should have brought the kids to school late, but I didn't. My kids go to school on time everyday, unless they are sick. I never even knew that about the budget and stuff. I'll have to look into that...interesting. Thanks for commenting today. Have a great day !
DeleteSomehow I missed your post yesterday! I must go read it now. However, that being said, I so agree with you about how mean people are! I have said it before and will say it again :: MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!!!! You and I are"'friends" on facebook and you see what I post (when I post) and also Instagram. You don't try to be anything other then yourself and same with me. I don't get people who hide behind computers and spew forth mean, hateful and bullying comments. Why? What does it accomplish? I admire all of you bloggers who continually put themselves out on the internet. I am not thick skinned. I get hurt by hateful remarks, like what have I done, to make people so mad at me? I try to be so careful about what I post. And who can SEE my posts on facebook. No one is perfect. I am always so happy for people and what they post about! But I seem to take a lot of flack about things I post about. No need to blow out someones candle to make yours burn brighter!!! Ok, enough from me. Just keep on being you, Kimm! Haters going to hate but we will just LOVE LOVE LOVE!! Have a great day!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you girl!!! Xoxo
DeleteIn regards to yesterday's post some might have a little harsh in judging you, we don't know the whole story and what is going on in your personal life. But when you do out stories out there for everyone to read you will get a variety of responses. And if you expect others to extend you grace you must also be welling to extend grace to others.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I know another commenter mentioned that those other bloggers that seem to have "perfect" lives really just know how to make it all seem perfect. I promise you a 3, 5, or 7 year old is not going to behave perfectly all the time but certain bloggers have perfected their craft if you will and makes sure their blogs make it look all perfect from the outside!
You just keep focusing on you and your family and I lace no doubt that you have an awesome family that you miss very much and you are doing the best you can right now with your recent life changes! I do want to say that make sure you are taking care of yourself, even if it is your quite time on the back porch, but you do have 3 younger children that do need their mom and you can only be your best when you have taken a little time; I have had to learn that myself!
Hi there ! Thanks for taking the time to comment. I knew by putting my bad day out there I would get some slack, I just thought it was a bit overboard and people are diagnosing me as depressed and an alcoholic I don't have the time to present a perfect life, I love my crazy chaotic life. Thanks a ton for reading ! Have a great night
DeleteI haven't read your post for yesterday. However, I can't imagine being slammed for being honest. It's not easy being a mom and trying to keep it all together. You can be sure they would never say it to your face....cowards. Let it go!!!
ReplyDeleteIf Kimm were my friend in real life, I most certainly would express my concern! I think most of the comments came from a place of caring.
DeleteDefintiely would say it from a place of concern and not judging. Been there myself and having people care about your well-being is a good thing.
DeleteBeing genuinely concerned is one with, accusing someone of drinking and driving with their children is a completely different thing, that's not concern that's just being a complete asshole in my opinion. I drink a glass of wine each night, just one, yes my kids, even my little ones know that drinking and driving is terrible and you are to never get into the car with anyone who has been drinking and because my children are educated people assume they know this not because we have taught them this that because they have experienced us drinking and driving. It's actually so absurd and I'm so glad I can laugh these complete ignorant people off
DeleteWhat in the world!!!! Are you kidding me people? Missing a day of school is not a big deal. We have did it numerous times here and we are all just fine. In fact, I know many a person who does this. It is to bad that people are so judgmental. I guess they need someone to throw the attention away from their boring, pitiful life as a troll behind a computer. Sad, very sad!! HUGS KIMM!
ReplyDeleteSeriously it's as if I committed murder with some of these comments. I mean my kids have missed one day of school and all of a sudden I'm a depressed irresponsible mother and my kids will be scarred for life. Lol! Thanks for reading girl! Have a great night
DeleteYes, you had an "oops" morning, which could have been rectified. I feel that the mistake you made was not bringing the kids to school at all. Even if they are late, that would have been better all around for everyone - the school, the kids, and you. It is your responsibility to be sure you get your kids to school if they are not of the age when they can get themselves to school on their own. I know this is an isolated incident, but really, it should not have happened at all. You were the one having a bad morning, not your kids. They may have a bad morning at some point and have a real reason to miss school, but in this case it was not them, but you. You should have just sucked it up, brought them school, come back home and had your bad day on your own.
ReplyDeleteYou're right it shouldn't have happened, but I truly believe it was made such a bigger deal by people to just have something to talk crap about if I am being honest. There are many parents that sometimes just keep their kid home from school for no other reason than just to keep them home. The kids and I enjoyed our day together , it was nice. People really are beyond overreacting on this. I respect the opinions, and I feel mine should be respected too. If I don't think it's a big deal to skip a day of school, that's my opinion, you don't have to agree with it but just respect it. Anyway I do appreciate your comment and very much appreciate how you presented it, too bad others can't disagree with me but still be as kind with your words as you were. So for that, thank you! Hope you have a nice night
DeleteKimm! Now I feel like you're changing your story to justify your actions. You said you spent the day crying for no particular reason. We all make mistakes, but if you're not honest with yourself, how will you learn?
DeleteWhat I said was I had moments in the day where I was weepy and would start crying. No I didn't spend the entire day sobbing
DeleteI kept my kids home, maybe not the best decision ever but it is what it is. Would I do it again. Probably not. I'm giving myself some grace on this one