Thursday, November 19, 2015

New Holiday Traditions

Happy Thursday Ladies! 
 
 
As many of you know, I have been struggling a bit with the whole move!  It has definitely been the hardest on me, but each day it definitely gets easier, and seeing how happy Mark and the kids are totally helps me so much!  So much of my happiness comes from them, so seeing them all so happy, makes me happy!
 
The holiday season has always been my favorite time of year!  Thanksgiving has always been a BIG deal to my mom, it's her favorite holiday, and every year, for the past 40 years, I have spent the holidays with my mom!  I knew when we decided to make this move, that everything was going to change, and that included how we celebrated the holidays.  When we moved from NJ to NC, it definitely sucked not having my extended family around for the holidays, but I had my mom, my brother, my sister in law, my niece, my nephew and my brood...so it was fine!  This will be the first time in my whole life that I won't be spending the holidays with my family...and it is hard, I mean real hard!
 
I love so many things about the holidays, the decorations, the food, the gifts, but what I truly love most of all are the traditions..those things we do year after year, never get tired of, and look so forward to each year!  I love that as much as my kids love getting presents Christmas morning, they truly have come to love tradition also, and I hope they carry some of these things on with their own families one day! 
 
Over the years we have definitely made changes to our traditions, some we have carried on and some have changed due to moving and divorce.  We have been so fortunate that even in divorce, Kenny and I have always spent Christmas together with the kids.  Now trust me, it isn't always easy having your ex at your house for 4 days, spending the holidays with you and your new husband, but hey our kids never asked for this, and we have always been sure to keep THEM a priority, and do what is best for THEM, NOT us!  Sadly this year, because of the distance from FL to NJ, he will not be here for Christmas, I was so nervous to tell the kids about this, but they really seemed OK with it.  He will be coming down the week after Christmas, and I know the kids are super excited about that!  I know to many this will sound so odd, but I am so thankful for my ex-husband and the good guy that he is.  In addition to not having Kenny here for the holidays, I also will not be seeing my family for the holidays!  With just moving, and Mark just starting a new job, he just wasn't able to take time off around the holidays, so we will be here, just us, for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I've shed many tears over this....MANY! 

Mark has been so great, he is so supportive, and he totally gets how sad being away from my family makes me.  He is constantly telling me everything will be fine, and we are going to make so many new traditions and wonderful memories, and I know he is right, but it is still tough! 

For Thanksgiving, we will continue to wake up and all watch the Macy's parade together, and this year instead of getting dressed and ready to head to my moms, we will stay here, make a turkey dinner and just enjoy being together, and remembering that even though we can't be with our family, we still have so much to be thankful for!  It will be extra hard as this will be the first holiday that I don't have all my kiddos with me...Harrison will be coming for Christmas but not for Thanksgiving.  There will be lots of face timing going on...and I am thankful for technology and being able to still "see" my family!

For the past nine years, a few of the kids would spend the night at my mom's house on Thanksgiving and then she would bring them home Friday morning, and her and I would head out for a day of Christmas shopping. This has always been one of my favorite days of the year.  I love just getting to spend the day with my mom, so I am for sure going to miss that this year!  I have ZERO desire to get out there and look for great deals, I did it more for the time with my mom, rather than the deals I could score.  So I am thinking that this Black Friday, I will probably do some online shopping, but will stay home, in my pajamas all day, with the kids and we will decorate for Christmas.  Our tradition of getting our tree on Saturday will stay the same! 

Harrison's birthday is December 9...he will be 20...I am still not sure how that is even possible!  It will be strange not being with him on his birthday!  Again, just something I have to get used to!  Regardless of the move, he would have eventually moved out and this would be the "norm" anyway.

Christmas definitely has me feeling sad!  I love Christmas, and Christmas Eve has always been my favorite day of the year, ever since I was a little girl.  I mean don't get me wrong I love Christmas morning with my kids, but Christmas Eve is just my favorite!  Normally on Christmas Eve my mom comes over, we eat a nice meal, watch Christmas movies and just all hang out together.  This year it will just be us!  I am really going to try and make it as special as possible for everyone!  I am trying hard to not let the kids see how down I am about it all...I don't want to bring them down. 

We would always get together with my brother's family and my mom the weekend before Christmas, have a nice dinner and do a gift exchange, I will miss that, and I know the kids will too!

I know the holidays, though they will be different, will still be wonderful, and I am very much looking forward to new traditions, and making new memories with my crew!  .

I love tradition..would love to hear what your favorite holiday tradition with your family is!

Be sure to check back tomorrow for Friday Favorites!




21 comments:

  1. I live in the same small town in which I grew up, so I can only imagine how tough it is for you to "start over" with holiday traditions. :( That said, since you live near the water I would see if your city has a boat parade. Those are super fun. And if you're ANYWHERE near-ish Disney you must, must, must go to see their decorations. It's free to go to the hotels and look around and they're amazing. I would try and do some new things that embrace where you're at. For us, living in a small town in Central FL, we do a mix of small town and tourist-y things: our little town has a big Christmas parade, but we also go to Disney every single Wed before Thanksgiving. I would really try and embrace the change this year, since you can't travel and maybe next year you can go back and do your normal traditions with family! Maybe ask the kids to pick one thing they'd like to go do/see? Good luck- and maybe it'll cool down soon! :)

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    1. We are definitely excited to make new memories and start new traditions!

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    2. We were just at the Disney resorts and saw the Christmas decrorations go up. We also attended Mickey's Christmas Party. SO MUCH FUN!

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  2. Awhhh Kim, what a tough situation! I can't imagine having your life turned upside down by a move right before the holidays. There's a reason these changes are happening so I can't wait to see how it unfolds!

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    1. I believe that every thing happens for a reason!

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  3. Kimm, I hate that you're loosing most of the traditions that you're use to having around the holidays and I think it's great that Mark is so supportive. And he's right! Now's the time to make even more new traditions. Try to think about what you have to look forward to at Christmas with Harrison coming home and your kids' dad coming for a visit. Maybe try a new recipe for Thanksgiving.

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    1. We cannot wait to have Harrison here with us for Christmas! And though things are so "different" now, we are embracing it all and excited to make new memories and start new traditions for our family! Have a great day Laura!

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  4. when my ex and I moved from California to Pennsylvania (his home town) it was so hard not having my family around anymore. And then we got used to doing our own traditions. Fast Forward 5 years and I am divorced and living back in California, and getting to see my family. Slowly, over the years, we don't celebrate holidays with either of our families. It makes me sad in a way, but as my kids have gotten older, we have our own traditions. I love my family and I love Tony's family. We just see them all the time so its nice to escape to our beach house and just be "us". I am sure most people won't get that but I think its ok to not have to spend every holiday with all the family. Now we have a new son in law and now my daughter has to share her holiday time with his family. Anyway, not trying to be a Debbie Downer but enjoy the "new" and maybe incorporate some of the old traditions and make new ones as well. Find a fun holiday treat to do with your kids and Mark. This year I am hosting both of our families at our home but the day after Christmas....we are off to the beach to spend time with Kelsey and her husband, because they want to have their first christmas as husband and wife in their home. Hugs to you Kimm! Hang in there. I know it will be a rough one but you have such a sweet family. Just enjoy them!!

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    1. Hey Kim! You are just so sweet and so glad for your words all the time! I a slowly learning to understand that my happiness and joy truly comes from Mark and the kids, and as long as they are here with me, the holidays will be perfect! Change is never easy, but I am slowly realizing how wonderful and good change can be! I hope you guys have the BEST holiday this year

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  5. Hi Kimm,
    We have moved several times during our marriage (with 5 kids) and each move brought its own challenges. We, unfortunately never lived near family. This did give us the opportunity to develop our own traditions each holiday. Christmas Day is always hard when I make that call to my mom and dads house and everyone is there but us.
    It has been helpful for us to explore our new cities and discover the BIG things there for the holidays. It will be Different but it won't be Bad.
    Good Luck! We have been in our current city 4 years and I'm still not totally invested :(.

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    1. I am definitely excited to start some new traditions! I'm slowly learning different isn't bad ;)

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  6. Kimm, you said that so much of your happiness comes from your family. While that may be true for you, it can also be dangerous. Your real happiness should be found within yourself. It begins with self-esteem. Keep control of your own happiness. Don't expect someone or something or some event or some acquisition to make you happy. True happiness and contentment comes from within.

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    1. Thanks for commenting. I really needed to read those words ! So true! Thank you ;)

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  7. Does your husband not get weekends off? Christmas is on a Friday and the drive from FL to NC isn't too long to make a weekend trip to be with family. Heck, if you left right after presents you could be there in time for Christmas dinner. If not, Facetime!

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    1. Yes he has weekends off. It's about a 12 hour drive from where we are to where my family is. We absolutely don't wish to spend our Christmas Day driving 12 hours to only turnaround Sunday and come home. We will definitely be using FaceTime and we are ok with being here just us, it's just an adjustment ;)

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  8. Try and make the best of it no matter what. I spent Christmas without my family 2 hours away because I had a newborn almost 12 years ago and while it was really hard at the time that time also passed and my husband and I made the best of it knowing the next year things would be different the baby would be older, it was basically just our season of life at the time. My brother moved his family 8 hours from home last year and the wife and kids were miserable. They somewhat tried to adjust but they were so focused on who and what they left behind that they never actually made their new home really "home". Needless to say they moved back about 8 months later because life was miserable for them all because my sister in law was unhappy. The kids adjusted after a while pretty well but I guess the saying "if momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy" holds true. Keep your head up and just enjoy where you are and who you're with.

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    1. Thanks for sharing that with me! I am adjusting to the changes and now it takes time but I have no doubt our holiday is going to be amazing! In definitely going to concentrate on what I have rather than what I don't. Thanks for taking the time to comment

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  9. We have a tradition to make Jesus a birthday cake on Christmas Day. It's a special time for us as a family and helps us to focus on the meaning of Christmas, the birth of our Savior. Remember our King has come and that is a reason to celebrate and find your true joy in the Lord, not people. Hope you guys enjoy the time coming up.

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  10. Kim, you might look at Pinterest for some fun ideas to make as traditions. My daughters are both grown and live across the country. We see them about every 8 weeks but share Thanksgiving and Christmas with the in laws and only see them every other year. My daughter lives close to the beach in Cali so one thing they do on Thanksgiving is after dinner do to the beach and make a snowman made of sand, and that's in their Christmas cards, along with my granddaughter. I forget if you are close to a beach...

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  11. The first year that I lived in TX, especially around the holidays, I really missed my family. It was hard for me to see my son miss out on the traditions that I grew up with in NY. But I slowky came to realize that my own little family needed to create our own life and traditions.

    Good luck. I know it's hard, but hopefully a year from now, things will have a different perspective for you. Good luck!

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