Going Back To Work...Trying To Do It All

Happy Thursday Ladies!  

I saw this and just laughed....Christmas is in just 7 days...how the heck did that happen???

 I first want to thank everyone who either left me a comment or sent me a message yesterday about my blended family post...it meant so much to me!  I know how busy we all are, so it really means alot that anyone would take time out of their day to read what I am writing!  I am grateful!

So today I figured I would write about something else that I am struggling with lately....balancing work and family life.  22 years ago when I had my daughter I became a stay at home mom, and up until this past spring that has been my "job", I have spent the past 22 years home, raising my children.  I have enjoyed every single second of the time I was fortunate enough to be home, I am so thankful and grateful that I was able to be home raising my children.  I love being able to say that in my 22 years of being a mother that I have NEVER once missed a school party, play, performance, or any of my children's sporting events.  I knew when I became a mother that I wanted my children to be able to look back and remember that I was always there for them, and that I never missed a thing!  I know being a stay at home mom is not for everyone, some women just can't stay home all day, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, what works for one doesn't always work for another.  I can remember so many times over the years, people saying to me, "Oh you don't work, you just stay home?"  I mean SERIOUSLY...I absolutely considered what I was doing at home to be real work! I can assure you my days were not filled on the couch, eating bon-bons, watching soap operas and talk shows.  Rather my days were filled, with bottles, dirty diapers, crying kids, play dates, field trips, numerous battles with toddlers over ridiculous things, oh and then there was the laundry, grocery shopping, house cleaning, chauffer, paying bills...so yea it was work!!!!  

Last year Olivia started kindergarten (insert me SOBBING here), and it was the first time in 21 years that I didn't have a child home with me during the day.  I will be honest with you, the first week of kindergarten (we have full day kindergarten here) I spent in the fetal position sobbing, distraught that my "baby" was in school full time.  After I got over that, I thought to myself, this is going to be great, I have the entire day all to myself, I can relax, go to the gym (yea that lasted a whole week), go shopping, go to lunch...all these fun things I could now do kid free!  I admit the first month was great, I enjoyed meeting some friends for lunch, and not being interrupted by kids, I shopped, got manicures, pedicures, watched TV, and not Nick Jr, it was GREAT!  Well, once that novelty wore off I started getting bored, and I can tell you I never expected that, there is only so much shopping one can do!  I thought maybe I should get a job...I wasn't exactly sure what I was qualified to do, I mean I had my oldest daughter when I was 18, and I have just been a mom pretty much my whole life, but I knew I needed something to fill my days.  I started looking online at part-time jobs, and nothing was really jumping out at me, I knew I didn't want to work in retail, I was not looking to work nights or weekends, I just needed something to do during the days while my kids were in school.  After a little bit of looking and not finding anything I just stopped.  I still kept myself busy during the day, we are a family of 7, so there is always laundry to do, a room to cleaned, etc. Then last March my hubby and I were talking and he had mentioned that one of our friends, who owned a business, was looking for someone part time to do the books, office work, etc....so I figured why not give him a call and see if this could work, and he hired me.  The hours are perfect, I can pretty much make my own schedule, and if the kids are home, I can be home when they are.

Where my struggle comes in, is that I feel like I am letting things slide a bit more at home, because by the end of the night, I am tired.  The kids get off the bus, and there is homework to do, dinner to be cooked, football practices, baseball practices, dance class, etc., I try to be organized with meal planning, and keeping up with laundry etc, but lately I seem to have slacked in those areas.  I have a hard time saying "no", so I have been known to over extend myself volunteering at the school, etc, the truth is I don't have as much time for that stuff as I would like, but I can't help but feel guilty that I should be doing it all.

#truth

Going back to work, even very part time, has given me a major appreciation for all the working moms out there.  I mean, I don't know how they managed to get it all done.  It has been 8 months since I started working, and I still feel like I haven't found my "groove" yet.  I love feeling productive during the day, going out and contributing financially to my family, but with that comes alot of guilt for me.  I am now buying store bought sugar cookie dough rather than making my own, because I am just too tired to do it, I feel like I don't do enough "fun" things with the kids, because on the weekends I am trying to catch up on all that I did not get done during the week.  The struggle for me...it's very real!  

Thanks to social media I have seen so many stay at home moms, become super successful at home based businesses, I myself have looked into a few, and well in typical Kimm fashion, I get overwhelmed and feel like I research something to death, to find the one reason it can't work!!!  But there are a few I am seriously thinking about possibly pursuing!  If you have a home based business, I would love to hear your thoughts on it, and if it has worked for you.  For all the mamas that are out there working outside the home, I would love to know your secrets for getting it all done!  

Thanks so much for stopping by today!  Have the BEST day!!!!