Putting Your Marriage First...Even Before Kids

Hey Girls!

First things first today.....I need to wish my adorable nephew Tyler a Happy 7th Birthday!

Wish we could be back in NC helping this cutie celebrate today!

Ok now on to today's post...today it's all about putting your marriage first!

 

The second I gave birth to Brooke my life immediately changed...all of my focus, energy and time was put towards being the best mom I could be.  And at the time, to me, that meant doing everything for my child, putting it before everything else in my life.  I put being a mom before everything in my life...before my friends, my husband, my family, myself...it was all about the kids, everything else came second.  Being a good mom was, and still is very important to me.  I was that mom that volunteered for EVERYTHING...I never ever said no.  I was class mom for all the kids, I chaired every single event at school, sat on every single committee available at their school, spent my days volunteering in the classrooms, PTA president...you name it I did it.  Why...because that is what a good mom does right???  Good moms do it all and make every aspect of their life about their children....yea...not so much!

 

You will never ever hear me talk ill about my ex-husband...NEVER!  He really is a great guy, we shared a great life together, and out of our relationship came the absolute best 5 kids ever!  We met when I was sixteen, we dated, had a baby, got married and had four more babies.  Our relationship was never bad or ugly, we just grew apart.  We walked away from the relationship how we started it, as friends, and I am so thankful for that.  During the time we were married, our entire life revolved around our kids...it was ALWAYS about them.  Every single minute was devoted to them.  We were married for 15 years, and do you know not a SINLGE time during those years did we ever once go away without the kids, I am not even kidding..not even a weekend away kid free.  Sure we had date nights, but that was it.  Looking back, it wasn't terrible, I never felt like I was missing out on anything, it was just what we did.  But knowing what I know now, I would have done some things differently.

 

When Mark and I got together and got married, though I knew it wouldn't be identical to my first marriage, I just assumed it would be somewhat similar...us together, being parents, our lives revolving around the kids.  Now you guys know what a great dad Mark is, since I tend to talk about it A LOT...and he is a great dad and he absolutely loves the kids, but not more than he loves his wife. 

 

In the beginning I struggled a lot with trying to balance my marriage and being a mom.  I was so used to my kids being the center of my universe, it was automatic and everything took a back seat, including Mark.  We would go out alone together, and I was always feeling guilty, missing the kids.  Girls, it was BAD!  I remember the first time we went away to Florida together, Kenny had come to stay at our house with the kids, I was a nervous wreck about leaving them, but I was excited to be with just Mark.  The entire trip, I thought about nothing other than missing my kids, wishing it was time to go back home.  I spent ridiculous amounts of time on the phone with them, texting Brooke and Harrison..Mark was pretty pissed off, and he let me know it. 

 

It was a couple of days after we got back home and we were sitting outside on the deck and he looked at me and said..."one day the kids are going to be gone, it is just going to be us, and if we don't put us first, what will we have once the kids are grown and gone"....WOW....I never thought about it that way.  I mean obviously the kids would eventually all grow up and move out, and I really never thought about life after raising kids...thank God he did:) 

 

 

 



True...so so true!

 

I want my kids to look at us and see a happy, healthy successful marriage.  And I also want them to realize the world doesn't revolve soley around them!  All those years I thought being a "good" mom meant always putting them first...I don't think that way anymore that is for sure! 

 

I was so wrapped up in my children it consumed me.  I never saw it as a problem or a bad thing until Mark kind of brought it to my attention and he was right.  I wasn't Kimm anymore, I was just a mom, my world revolved around my kids. 

 

I love my kids, there is nothing I wouldn't do for them, but for me to be the best mom to them I know I need to be the best wife I can be to Mark.  Mark and I are a great team, and what makes us be great parents, is making US a priority! 

 

As you know from all my posts here and on social media, Mark and I definitely take the time for us, and I no longer feel guilty about it.  People judge and say things, but this it what works for us.  We treasure every second of time that we get together, he is truly my best friend! 

 

I love this little saying and boy is it true!  Everyday Mark lets me know I am #1 in his book.  He always goes out of his way to make me feel special and loved, and I try and do the same for him (but trust me he is way better at it). 

 

It's all about finding the perfect balance, and it took me a REAL long time, but I think I have finally found it.  How lucky am I to have a man that loves me so much and wants to spend so much time with me. 

 

So for us, putting our marriage ahead of all else, even our kids (GASP), is what works best for us! 

 

Thanks for stopping by today!  See you back here tomorrow.!